The Unglorified Truth of What it Takes

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Hello readers,

Before we begin, imagine a large piece of watercolor paper.  In the center of it is a black dot.  Which do you see?  The dot, or the white?

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I recently have been receiving lovely email messages from you, who more and more frequently are finding my blog.  It makes me think about the past year since I’ve started writing this piece, and thinking more so about how I slowly worked to the pinnacle of my journey in July.

For those of you who have read me, forgive the re-cap:

1.  I started running again a few days before Christmas with an app called Zombies, Run! 5K Trainer.  I followed it diligently to the end, which was awesome.20121226-213557.jpg

2.  To prevent burn-out, which has been the cycle of my life, I decided to only run until I was ready to change nutrition.  After a few weeks…month?  I started logging the food that I already had been eating; not changing anything I ate.

3.  A while longer, I took a hard look at what I was eating, met with my bariatric surgeon, and made some changes.  I took to a “lean and green” model, trying to eat only those things which grew naturally upon the earth, or lean meats.

sweetsassystraw4.  Then, just before school let out (because every teacher knows that it’s insane to start something new in the end month of school) I stepped up the challenge.  I went back into a juice-fasting mode, which I continued faithfully for 31 days. I even continued the fast for a week in a hotel in San Francisco with some co-workers at a training seminar.

5.  In the end of June, I transitioned off juice to a Paleo diet (no legumes, grains, dairy), which I continued MOSTLY faithfully. From all this diet and exercise, I successfully lost 23 pounds, and gained a TON of health.

This is where the real life set in.

I was sent to three weeks of training in Sacramento at the Rudolf Steiner College.  Being completely stripped of free time, I completely stopped running.  I can rationalize that class was 13 hours a day, six days a week.  I can complain that it in the 90Fs when I woke up, and reached upwards of 116F during the day, and couldn’t face the heat running.  I had a treadmill in the house I was staying in, but only used it a few times.  Maybe these are valid, maybe they’re not, but they are fact.

Now, it’s a brilliantly crisp evening on almost the last day of September.  I haven’t run since the last week of June.  I’m back to eating really healthy food sprinkled with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Rockstar Energy Drinks, and other things I know a) don’t do my body good, and b) rationally don’t make me feel good.

But, even though feeling a cold coming on, I did get out and walk yesterday morning for about an hour.  Here’s to the up-and-up.

Maybe you’re wondering why such a morose post?  I think it’s just the kind of stuff we need on the internet.  I’m recognizing that I did a fantastic job for 6 months.  I’m recognizing that because of that diligence, I lost 23 pounds, a lot of which is still gone, but will surely return if I don’t do something about it.  I’m mostly recognizing that life is just that.  It moves like the sands of a desert, rising and falling, blowing this way and that.  It’s never the same, but what it is is worth it.

So, what does it take?  That’s the title of this ramble, isn’t it?  It might be different for you, but for me it takes an honest look at the whole white page, and seeing a field of white, there’s tons of it, with a little, insignificant black dot in the middle.  It takes seeing the whole of the good you’ve done, and not focusing on the fall-backs along the way.

Time to get back on the track.  And, don’t forget how important music is to … well, everything.

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